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An elderly man lay dying in his bed. In death's agony, he suddenly
smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookies wafting up the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength and lifted
himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom and with even greater effort, forced
himself down the stairs. Gripping the railing with both hands, he crawled downstairs. With labored breath, he leaned against
the door frame, gazing into the kitchen. Were it not for death's agony, he would have thought he was already in heaven. There,
spread out upon waxed paper on the kitchen table were literally hundreds of his favorite chocolate chip cookies. Was it heaven?
Or was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted wife, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man? Mustering
one great final effort, he threw himself towards the table, landing on his knees in a rumpled posture. His parched lips parted;
the wondrous taste of the cookies was already in his mouth, seemingly bringing him back to life. The aged and withering hand,
trembling on its way to a cookie at the edge of the table . . . suddenly was smacked with a spatula by his wife . . .she said,
"They're for the funeral."
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WHAT IT MEANS
TO BE POOR
One day a father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with
the firm purpose of showing his son how poor people can be. They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would
be considered a very poor family.
On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, "How was the trip?" "It
was great, Dad." "Did you see how poor people can be?" the father asked. "Oh Yeah" said the son. "So what did you learn from
the trip?" asked the father.
The son answered, "I saw that we have one dog and they had four. We have a pool that
reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end. We have imported lanterns in our garden and they
have the stars at night. Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon.
We have a small piece
of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight. We have servants who serve us, but they serve others. We
buy our food, but they grow theirs. We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them."
With
this the boy's father was speechless. Then his son added, "Thanks dad for showing me how poor we are."
Too many times
we forget what we have and concentrate on what we don't have. What is one person's worthless object is another's prize possession.
It is all based on one's perspective. Makes you wonder what would happen if we all gave thanks for all the bounty we have,
instead of worrying about wanting more.
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A
little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly something fell out
of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it closely. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between
the pages. "Momma, look what I found," the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" his mother asked. With astonishment
in the young boy's voice, he answered: "I think it's Adam's suit!"
**********************************************************
A college student was in a philosophy class which had a discussion about God's existence. The professor presented the
following logic:
"Has anyone in this class heard God?" Nobody spoke. "Has anyone in this class touched God?" Again,
nobody spoke. "Has anyone in this class seen God?" When nobody spoke for the third time, he simply stated, "Then there is
no God."
One student thought for a second, and then asked for permission to reply. Curious to hear this bold student's
response, the professor granted it, and the student stood up and asked the following questions of his classmates:
"Has
anyone in this class heard our professor's brain?" Silence. "Has anyone in this class touched our professor's brain?" Absolute
silence. "Has anyone in this class seen our professor's brain?" When nobody in the class dared to speak, the student concluded,
"Then, according to our professor's logic, it must be true that our professor has no brain!"
(...The student received
an "A" in the class.)
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A new pastor moved
into a town, and he went out one day to visit his parishioners. All went well until he came upon this one house. It was obvious
that someone was home, but no one came to the door even after he had knocked several times. Finally he took out his card,
wrote on the back "Revelation 3:20" and stuck it on the back of the door. Revelation 3:20: "Behold, I stand at the door, and
knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will dine with him, and he with me."
Later
in the week, as he was counting the offering, he found his card in the collection plate. Below his message was the notation
"Genesis 3:10."
Genesis 3:10: "And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked:
so I hid myself."
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The preacher just finished
his sermon for the day and proceeded toward the back of the church for his usual greetings and handshaking as the congregation
left the church. After shaking a few adult hands he came upon the seven year old son of one of the Deacons of the church.
"Good
morning, Jonathan," the preacher said as he reached out to shake Joanthan's hand.
As he was doing so he felt something
in the palm of Jonathan's hand. "What's this?" the preacher asked.
"Money," said Jonathan with a big smile on his
face, "It's for you!"
"I don't want to take your money, Jonathan," the preacher answered.
"I want you to have
it," said Jonathan. After a short pause Jonathan continued, "My daddy says you're the poorest preacher we ever had and I want
to help you."
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ACTUAL Announcements Taken
from Church Bulletins:
Don't let worry kill you. Let the Church help.
Thursday night-Potluck Supper. Prayer
and medication to follow.
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
For those of
you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
The rosebud on the altar this morning is to
announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
This afternoon there will be a meeting
in the south and north ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
Tuesday at 4PM there will be an
ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.
Wednesday, the Ladies Liturgy Society will meet. Mrs.
Jones will sing "Put Me In My Little Bed" accompanied by the pastor.
Thursday at 5PM there will be a meeting of the
Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become Little Mothers, please see the minister in his private study.
This being
Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.
Next Sunday, a special collection
will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward
and get a piece of paper.
The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the
church basement Friday.
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
At
the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
Weight
Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
The
1991 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.
Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.
8
new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
Mrs.
Johnson will be entering the hospital this week for testes.
The Senior Choir invites any member of the congregation
who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan who is preparing for the
girth of their first child.
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will
be used to cripple children.
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